When I first signed up for this exchange, I was so excited to find a new place, discover so many wonderful things, and meet the most amazing group of people. I did not sign up for all these goodbyes! I guess you could say that I've been in denial for a while. I don't think I'm in denial anymore, but that doesn't mean I have to be ok with this.
Today was the last Rotary event in my district. Only about half of the exchange students were there, but that didn't make it any easier to say goodbye to them. Everyone started out with the normal happiness that comes with seeing everyone again. However, once the first person said they had to go (this person happened to be me), tears started flowing (from my eyes first).
I don't know how to describe what I was feeling. I was happy because I know all these amazing people from around the world. I was sad and disappointed that I had to leave them. I was confused (and still am) as to why it had to end. I was angry that I didn't have any time left. I was just a mess all around we'll say.
For the car ride back to Montélimar, I told myself I wasn't going to cry in front of the family of the girl who's going on exchange next year. Next thing I know, a song comes on the radio. The song that I sang in December with one of my favorite Brazilians (eu te amo João <3) and started crying again. The tears didn't stop for about an hour and they've been making off-and-on appearances since I got back to my host family.
On top of all of that, I'm going to see my mother for the first time since leaving Seattle on August 21st, 2013. In about 5 minutes. Needless to say, I physically cannot function right now. With my mom, we're going to visit each of my host families, our family in Montpellier, and a couple of my friends. I'll be leaving France on friday and will be back in Seattle on friday (time zone changes are weird).
It's all ending. Please make it stop ending. This is torture.
Amelia
PS: To any exchange students that I have met this year, I love you more than words can say. Even if I barely spoke to you, you'll have a special place in my heart forever and always! <3
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Not "goodbye", but "see you soon" (I hope)
Sorry I haven't been posting at all. As my exchange is winding down to the end, I just haven't been motivated to explain it. So excuse me for that.
On June 11th, I had to say goodbye to the majority of my French friends. I kept telling myself that I was going to cry so much, but in reality, I only cried once... at the end of it all. The actions didn't seem real at the time, but once I got back to the house it all hit me at once. Saying goodbye to the people who have accepted me all year was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I know I'll see them again someday, but the thought of facing next year without them scares me.
Next sunday, I will be saying goodbye to all the exchange students left in my district. That is going to be extremely difficult. I know that I'll probably never see most of them again. The thing about the exchange students is that everyone will be so spread out after it's over. I'm looking forward to seeing them one last time, but it won't be the same atmosphere. Everyone will know that it's the last time. Everyone will be crying (yes, even the strong ones). Everyone will have to face the fact that it's ending or is already over.
Another important event next sunday will be the arrival of my mother in France. I plan to introduce her to my host families and show her around the area that I have fallen in love with this year. She'll even get to attend a Rotary meeting here in France. While I know that constantly translating between French and English will be difficult, I'm looking forward to the challenge. I want to show my mom how much this year has given me, but I doubt a few days will be enough.
The people that I have met this year mean the world to me. I could not imagine a better group to have shared this experience with. Saying goodbye hasn't been easy and will not get any easier, but it is part of exchange. Nothing lasts forever, but at least the connections we have all made this year will last a long time.
11 days until my flight back... I can't believe it's coming to a close.
Amelia
On June 11th, I had to say goodbye to the majority of my French friends. I kept telling myself that I was going to cry so much, but in reality, I only cried once... at the end of it all. The actions didn't seem real at the time, but once I got back to the house it all hit me at once. Saying goodbye to the people who have accepted me all year was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I know I'll see them again someday, but the thought of facing next year without them scares me.
Next sunday, I will be saying goodbye to all the exchange students left in my district. That is going to be extremely difficult. I know that I'll probably never see most of them again. The thing about the exchange students is that everyone will be so spread out after it's over. I'm looking forward to seeing them one last time, but it won't be the same atmosphere. Everyone will know that it's the last time. Everyone will be crying (yes, even the strong ones). Everyone will have to face the fact that it's ending or is already over.
Another important event next sunday will be the arrival of my mother in France. I plan to introduce her to my host families and show her around the area that I have fallen in love with this year. She'll even get to attend a Rotary meeting here in France. While I know that constantly translating between French and English will be difficult, I'm looking forward to the challenge. I want to show my mom how much this year has given me, but I doubt a few days will be enough.
The people that I have met this year mean the world to me. I could not imagine a better group to have shared this experience with. Saying goodbye hasn't been easy and will not get any easier, but it is part of exchange. Nothing lasts forever, but at least the connections we have all made this year will last a long time.
11 days until my flight back... I can't believe it's coming to a close.
Amelia
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