Monday, January 27, 2014

Are you really happy or just really comfortable?

The other day I came across this picture:


This scares me. 

The moment when I finally thought I was happy on exchange was when I became comfortable. When I first went out of my comfort zone at the beginning of this exchange, I wasn't truly happy. I was more excited about all the new things that were happening. As these things grew less and less intimidating and daunting, I found myself becoming more and more comfortable. 

There are people out there who say that it isn't good to stay comfortable for too long. I have to say that I disagree -- sort of. What we have to do rather than avoid our comfort zone is expand it. I am aware of how weird this sounds, but I'm going somewhere with it... I think. When you leave your comfort zone, you have to adapt. Eventually, you will adapt so well that this new experience will be within your comfort zone. Now it isn't some instant gratification, but it's something you have to work for. 

My life before exchange was within my comfort zone. My family, friends, high school, lifestyle, and everything else there was all in my comfort zone. At the beginning of my exchange I had none of that. I had a host family, no friends, a new high school, a completely changed lifestyle, and so many other different and foreign aspects that had transformed in a matter days. Needless to say, France was (literally) 5,329 mi (about 8576 km) outside of my comfort zone. 

Around the two and a half month mark, I had adjusted to the family, had made a few friends, and sort of liked the high school. The lifestyle, however, I had not adjusted to, as well as the language. In fact, around the two month mark I was just starting to fully (well relative to before) understand the French around me. 

At this point (5 months in...ahhhh) I feel completely comfortable. I love my second host family, I have made friends (who I HOPE will stay my friends long after I have to leave again), high school is just kind of high school now, and the language I think I've got a pretty good understanding of. The lifestyle has been a difficult thing to adjust to, but now I think it's pretty normal. 

Communication is one of the most important things in all of this. Being unable to communicate with people was definitely out of my comfort zone. Coming to another country with a very very basic understanding of the language is frightening. The moment when France was added to my comfort zone (wow that still sounds weird, but I don't know how else to put it) was when I felt that I had a grasp on the language. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that it's good to be in your comfort zone, but you need to reach out and take a little more of the world in for yourself. I swear to you this made sense in my head. Hats off to you if you understand what I'm trying to say. 

Basically: Change is good, but eventually that change won't feel any different.

This may have just been me trying to express my feelings about being closer to the end than the beginning... Maybe I'll have an interesting story soon :)

Amelia

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Halfway....

I just wanted to let you know that I have reached the halfway point. 

I have no idea how I feel about this. I'm confused.

Amelia

Monday, January 20, 2014

Rotary Weekend #2!

Bonjour!

This weekend, I had another Rotary Weekend with all the exchange students in my district. We went to St. Sorlin, a ski village in the Alps. On Saturday, a few other exchange students and I left Montélimar. We were within 30 km of the village when our route was cut off since the passes are closed for the winter. We then had to turn around and return to the nearest big city and take a different route. This added a little over two hours to our already long car ride. Rather than arriving at 4:00 pm, we arrived around 5:45 pm. 

After saying hello to everyone and putting our things in our rooms, we just started hanging out. The guitars were brought out and a group of us just started singing. I loved just relaxing with everyone and being normal for once. It has taken a while to get back to the normal interactions. There were still language barriers, but we all got along and found ways to communicate. After hanging out for a while, we had dinner: Raclette. Perfection. Nothing more, nothing less.

After dinner everyone did their last minute rehearsals for the Talent Show (by the way there was a talent show). It was so much fun to see everyone just be themselves and show their talents, even if they were uncomfortable (like me). I sang with two Brazilians and a Mexican. NORMALLY, I DO NOT EVER SING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, but this weekend I just felt comfortable with it. Until people said nice things.... Then I just turned really awkward and tried to get them to stop talking about it. I should probably get over that soon. Mostly because the Rotarians chose the Talent Show act who will represent District 1780 at the Conference Weekend in Paris where every Rotary exchange student in France will meet up. That means I need to get over stage fright and talking to people about it afterwards. It's really exciting to know that people trust you and your friends to creatively represent a large body of people. 

After the Talent Show, we danced. Once again, it's really difficult to dance when you are surrounded by a bunch of South Americans who can move without looking like awkward seals (like me). You just kind of have to accept the fact that you will not move like that and maybe you never will. It was a difficult process, but it was successful. Exchange students just love being around each other and it was cool to just have everyone there.  

I loved having everyone there and I realized that I wasn't really adventurous last time. In September, I mainly talked to Americans, Canadians, Australians, and people who were willing to just speak English. This time, I decided to go meet other people who spoke other languages. I ended up spending a lot of times with the South Americans and making friends with them. Even though 75% of the time they were speaking Portuguese or Spanish, it was still really fun. Of course I had to ask for a translation to either French or English, but it worked somehow. I'm really happy that I switched it up. I still love the others, but now I've gotten to know even more people. 

The next day, we went snow-shoeing along the mountainside. For 4 hours. I'm just going to say that it was very difficult to walk up stairs the next day... Despite the fact that everyone was extremely tired, the view was gorgeous. There was a good amount of snow, but it never snowed while we were walking. I normally don't like snow, but when the snowball fights started I didn't just stand on the sidelines... 

Getting to be myself during this whirl-wind that is exchange has been one of the best things that has ever happened. I'm no longer afraid of how people see me. I just act how I act and let people make the decision for themselves. Trying to fit in isn't worth it anymore. Rather than trying to fit in on exchange you just have to fall into your place. You won't fit perfectly with everyone, but you'll find people and they'll find you. I've realized that I need to stop searching for a spot to be and just find it naturally.

I wish every exchange student the best of luck in stumbling across who they are. I wish families the best in supporting the exchange students in their lives. I wish Rotarians the best in continuing to give this gift to many future exchange students. This year has been truly magnificent so far and I cannot wait (except that I totally can and will wait) to see the end result. 

Au revoir!

Amelia 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Just a side note...

For those of you who might care:

I almost got off at the wrong bus stop on Tuesday.... It was probably one of the most embarrassing things that has happened to me this year. I walked up to the front of the bus and it stopped. I saw the sign through the window (and obviously noticed that it wasn't the right place) and told the driver that I was mistaken and that it was the next one. He just kind of stared at me.... along with every other person on the bus. Oops?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Bonne Année! Happy New Year!

Bonjour!

It's been awhile, and this post will be very long, so bear with me. The last time I posted was just before winter vacation. The friday before break, my (real) dad's cousin (I think that makes him my second cousin...? I don't know so we'll just call him and his family my cousins) came and picked me up from Montélimar to spend Christmas and New Years with him and his family in Montpellier. After arriving in Montpellier, I spent a lot of time with my little cousins. They are two of the sweetest little girls on the planet. On the 23rd, we went to Bordeaux for Christmas. It was difficult to celebrate in such a different manner. I spent Christmas with a bunch of strangers. However, these strangers welcomed me with open arms. That afternoon, we went to the center of Bordeaux. It was MAGNIFICENT. I used to think that cities weren't very pretty and that the bustle was always overwhelming, but I admit that I was wrong. That evening, I tried skyping with my family, but we didn't talk for very long. 

On the 24th, I baked cinnamon rolls for everyone (that was a success). Dinner on Christmas Eve was raw seafood..... which is not exactly my cup of tea, so I didn't really eat anything. The Père Noël arrived around 11 pm on the 24th. Apparently, the only one of the five children (who were all under the age of 12) still believed in the magical man who brings gifts on Christmas. He was around 5, but others were 7 or 8, and I just felt bad that the magic didn't last very long for them. For dinner on Christmas Day, there was roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and a mushroom/truffle sauce. MUCH better than the seafood.

We returned to Montpellier on the 26th. Around midnight, I skyped my parents and little brother and had a mini Christmas, complete with the stocking that they sent me. The next day, I went with my cousins to see "Belle et Sébastien", which is a beautiful French film that was recently remade and released. I understood all of it and was very proud of myself. I highly recommend it. I then spent a few days with my great aunt, who lives just a ten minute walk away from the center of Montpellier. We strolled around the center and I did my Christmas shopping for my first host family (it was more thank you shopping than for Christmas). After the shopping, we returned home and watched some TV. We watched "Castle" (I had to set in on English with French subtitles...the voices were horrible in French) and then a Charlie Chaplin movie. 

After returning to my cousins' house outside Montpellier, I got the chance to watch real French television. My little cousins and I watched "Fait pas ci, fait pas ça" (Don't do this, don't do that). Apparently, it was really funny, but I only understood a few of the jokes. I felt like such a downer not laughing with everyone else, but I don't just laugh when everyone else does. I've learned that it's better to show that you don't understand rather than faking it. Faking it doesn't help me learn. 

For New Year's Eve, I colored. Rather than watch more of "Fais pas ci, fais pas ça", I colored in my room and listened to Stromae (Belgian hip-hop/electronic/rap artist). I didn't even notice the year change. New Years Day, we spent a day without technology and played board games and relaxed. The next day, I rejoined my host family. We spent the afternoon in Nîmes and returned to Montélimar in the evening. When we got back, we had a gift exchange. I gave them their presents and they gave me an absolutely gorgeous necklace. After dinner, I had a long conversation with my host parents about everything and anything (instead of packing). 

The next morning, I packed up my bags and mentally prepared myself for the family change even though I had no idea what to expect. That evening, we went to my second family's house to officially change. We spent about an hour and a half talking. When my first host family left, it was the weirdest feeling to not go with them. I couldn't even watch them walk back to their car. They were the first people to show me this new culture and helped me adjust to everything. You know that heavy feeling you get after you cry? I felt that as they left. I didn't actually cry, but it felt as though I had cried for an hour. Luckily, my new little host brother came and gave me a hug. 

My second host family sent their son to the States about 3 years ago, and I will be their last exchange student (if my host sister changes her mind and no longer wants to go on exchange that is). I have four host siblings, but only two are always at the house. My older host sister is studying in Paris and only returns for long vacations. I may not see her again during my exchange. My older host brother on the other hand, is studying in Lyon and comes back on the weekend sometimes. Then there's my younger host sister, who is 14. I've never had a sister before, let alone one relatively close to my age. She and I get along very well and I already love her to bits. Finally, there's my 7 year old host brother. He is such a sweetheart and we also get along very well. My host parents are really kind and it's easy to talk to them. It has been a little easier to find a rhythm in this family because I know the language better and don't have to change cultures completely. 

Today, school started again with a new bus. I was really worried that the bus would be awkwardly full when I got on, but it was practically empty. After I got on, it filled up very quickly. It's definitely a different rhythm already, but I think (hope) it will be a quick adjustment. My first class today was math (obviously everyone's favorite course to start with). After school, I had to wait two hours for the bus and my host sister. Tomorrow, I won't have her to show me where the stop is, so I'm a little freaked out about that. I tried to pay attention with the timing and the scenery, but I'm just not sure enough. Well hopefully that goes well tomorrow. 

Au revoir!
Amelia